The Goulding Method ®

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

Social skills & separation anxiety

March 2007 – Cookie Harkin – BABYSWIM Australia

Dear Cookie,
I just wanted to write this letter to thank you so much for introducing me to the program. I honestly can’t tell you how much of a difference it has made to my son’s life. I can’t believe how a program such as this could have such a powerful impact; it really is a “miracle”.

My son will be four years old at the end of this month; basically, he had not made much progress in terms of his social skills in a year. He did not play with the other children at all and I was told he engaged in “solitary” and “parallel” play. Even when his teacher physically put him in amongst a group of children, he would still play by himself and not engage in conversation with the others. He never contributed verbally to the class and was too shy to say hello or bye to the other children when prompted. Last year there were tears every time I dropped him off at kinder, even at the start of this year as well. He was invited to a few birthday parties but he didn’t want to walk in the door. He would make such a scene with his tears and tantrums that often we would just give a child their present and leave. When we would stay, he would not want to participate in activities and just wanted to sit and watch the other kids.

When you told me to use I was very sceptical but I thought I’d give it a go anyway. It really was such a simple process yet so amazingly effective. I would wait for him to fall asleep then come back in 30 minutes and resent the process. I also reinforced the statements approximately once or twice a day when he was conscious.

I really expected to see results (if there was going to be any) in 3 weeks because this is what I read in a pamphlet you gave me but by the fifth day, his teacher said he was a different child. I was astounded yet very happy.  She said he was engaging in play with the other children and on one particular day he was such a chatterbox they couldn’t shut him up. He is now happy to go to kinder in the morning and looks forward to it. No more tears! I have been told he has also put up his hand and made several contributions to group discussions. The other day we were in our local library and he met another boy and actively engaged in social play with him without my prompting or encouraging him. Something he has never done before. He is now also happy to say hello to our neighbours, something he was too shy to do before.

As you can see Cookie, has had such a positive impact on our family. My son is happier and while he will never be an extrovert, he has made significant progress and will continue to improve. I am still continuing with the program every night and will use it to grow his confidence and self-esteem. I still can’t believe how something that takes such little effort (a few minutes a night) can do so much good. Thank you for lending me the book by Joane Goulding but I now have my own copy.

PV – Melbourne.


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