The Goulding Method ®

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

Fear of the dark

Hi there, please let me start by saying that this book has been a God send!  I had struggled for 6 months to get my daughter (now 5 & a half) to stay dry at night or wake up and go to the toilet before I found you book, and within 2 months of utilising your process – SUCCESS!  She has been consistently dry now for over one month and we are both much happier for it!

Now that I’ve got her consistently dry, I wanted to move onto overcoming her fear of the dark which was a major cause of her not wanting to go to the toilet at night – despite three night lights!  We have a torch by the bed that she uses as well as these three night lights and on some nights she requests that the landing lights be left on. I was disappointed therefore to find that there is nothing specific to fear of the dark.  The closest I could find was “You are safe”.  She fears that “badies” lurk in the dark spaces of the house waiting for her to walk by.

I would have thought that this type of phobia was one of the major one’s that parents would want to conquer for their children, but I will use “you are safe” and hopefully this will make a difference.  I write only to suggest that you include this in future re-prints.

Thank you and regards.  TH.  July 2009

Answer: Hi T, your feedback is very welcome and thanks for your suggestions.

When determining the appropriate ‘Specific’ statements one must always endeavour to work with the underlying issues rather than the end effect. Your daughters ‘fear’ of the dark is actually not the primary issue. She may have a range of issues that all interrelate and one of the reasons for not specifying fear of the dark statements is that during her life time they may be times when being ‘fearfully of the dark’ might be a very intelligent thing to do!

The statements we use in the ‘Primary’ area need to be very carefully presented.  Your daughter’s reaction to the dark may be due to many issues including a lack of confidence, self image issues or issues that you’re not even aware off. So my suggestion would be to just stay with your chosen statements ‘You are safe’ and allow the mind to determine the pathway to deal with her issues.

Stay with the statements for a few months and if you require any assistance please don’t hesitate to contact meJ

Kind regards Joane G


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