The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Tantrums / Sibling rivalry / Bed Wetting / Speech /Anger / Confidence & Co-operation

Temper Tantrums – Eczema –

Parents report that at the end of Phase 1, their child’s anxiety has decreased. There is an improvement in the reading, writing and speaking issues and it is more peaceful at those. His eczema has improved, the temper tantrums have lessened and he is more interested in school. The parents are continuing with the process and are moving to Phase 3. 

Accredited Consultant: Olivia Amore – Genève 

 

B was 6 years old when Mum commenced SleepTalk® with him. Mum says that B is quite a sensitive boy who relates to nature and enjoys learning about and exploring nature. His older brother J was 16 years old and younger brother A was 2.5 years old at the time.

Mum was very interested and motivated to be involved with SleepTalk ® For Children. Mum had concerns with B with several areas; the most prominent being his behaviour, which was often explosive, with yelling, screaming, swearing, kicking and throwing things, and tantrums.

B wouldn’t cooperate with Mum when asked to do things (eg packing up the toys before dinner) and became very angry and aggressive quickly. Although B tended to play separately from others, often annoyed his younger brother A, consistently arguing/fighting with him.

His older brother didn’t want to play with, B or let B come into his room, and has no patience for him Mum said. B had delayed speech development, which primarily involved enunciation (eg of sounds –  c, f, s, sh, ch), sentence structure, grammar selection (eg l/He/She…. am/was/are). This negatively impacted on B’s communication with others – who often had difficulty understanding what he was trying to say.

B became anxious with changes and new people in his life, sometimes ‘over-reacting’ to these situations, by either crying or becoming overly excited. Although toilet trained now, Mum said that B had no interest in going to the toilet by himself, so at 4 years of age she “really had to make him.” However he was still wearing night nappies (bed wetting).

Mum said that she would also give SleepTalk to A her 2 yo son as well, as he was copying B’s negative behaviour. Spoke with Mum next day who said she felt a bit nervous when giving SleepTalk ® but it all went well.

SleepTalk ® Foundation Process commenced.
Only a week later, Mum was amazed to hear A repeating the script word for word to them (on Mother’s Day!).

Within two weeks she could already see some improvement in B’s behaviour, with the aggressive outbursts becoming less frequent each day and B becoming a bit calmer at home. B was listening to her more, and had even stopped and looked at her while she was asking him to pack up the toys one day, which he had never done before.

Mum was so amazed that she quickly gave him a cuddle and told him how good he was! Both boys had become more affectionate towards Mum, coming up for no reason and giving her a cuddle, which she loved of course! They were being more affectionate towards dad also.

After the first month of SleepTalk, Mum was very happy to share how much B’s behaviour had improved and the positive effect it had on the whole family – even his older brother had said at the dinner table one night, “I don’t recognise B anymore.”

A family day trip which involved quite a bit of driving had been successful Mum reported, without the three boys on the back seat fighting once – “that’s never happened before!”

Second Meeting With Mum.
Vast improvements concerning B’s level of behaviour, confidence, anxiety and happiness were highlighted by Mum who was so happy with the progress that B had made in the previous two months.

Generally B remained calm and was dealing with things, with his aggression and anger occurring much less frequently. However these aggressive episodes were more apparent during the previous month when B was suffering from an ear infection.

Mum found his behaviour had become more ‘challenging’ again through this time, after being more settled. She was thankful for SleepTalk, to be able to tell him that she loved him when he was quiet at night – and get her through the difficult and stressful times of coping with B’s behaviour each day.

How much B’s level of self confidence and self-esteem had improved became more apparent for Mum when she explained what B was now doing at home. B was cooperating more with Mum, packing up the toys for dinner when asked, often doing so without being asked!

Mum said that B wanted to help around the house more, offering to chop up things for meals, setting the table, even got the baked beans out for himself to eat, opened the lid, put them in a saucepan, turned on the hotplate and heated them up – all independently and at 6yo!

B had even chosen a new job for himself to do each morning – packing the dried dishes away in the cupboard, and supervised his little brother A to put away the cutlery. He was also sharing and helping his younger brother, playing positively with his older brother who now wanted B’s company and better behaved when in the supermarket. Mum even took the boys on a bus trip to the shops which she said she never would have attempted with B previously due to his behaviour.

Mum said that B was more consistent in his behaviour, she could reason with him now and he was more thoughtful and helpful to others.

While B’s behaviour outside the home was not “as silly as before”, being better behaved, he still tended to act silly, as though attention seeking from his friends. Mum said he was never invited to play at his friend’s homes and she thought maybe this could be the reason from their mothers. B’s level of anxiety had reduced when car pooling as he acted calmer, not appearing to be upset by other children’s comments when they couldn’t understand what he was saying.

Although Mum was!  B’s sleeping pattern had improved and now went to bed easier when asked, and straight to sleep; sleeping through the night, instead of being awake for quite sometime as previously. However he was still bed wetting.

Mum reported that B was not only more affectionate, but his cuddles, hugs and words of affection were more meaningful and heartfelt. How lovely!

Although Dad had not been taking part in the nightly SleepTalk ® process, he often came to watch and listen to Mum from the doorway of B’s bedroom. He had recognised B’s improved behaviour and level of affection and seemed to be more willing to do things with the boys, eg taking them fishing with him.

Choosing the Primary Area of Need
Three areas of need for B were identified by Mum – his speech, behaviour and toileting (bed wetting). Even though she felt his communication with others, together with his self-confidence, would benefit from improved speech, she explained that as his younger brother had begun to have dry nights and didn’t want to wear night nappies, she believed this was of more importance for B. Whereas before, B was not concerned about wearing a night nappy, she felt that now he wanted not to wet his nappy each night. After discussing what the possible reason/s maybe concerning why B had bed wetting, eg medical, fears, authority figure/s, a specific statement was chosen as the support statement.

By advising Mum that with Dad’s involvement in giving SleepTalk ® to B, not only will it help to accelerate the process, but it will help him with his bed wetting problem.

After only five nights of giving the supporting statement, Mum sms to say that B had his first dry night! Mum was so excited for her son, as well B also – me too!