The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Tantrums

Tantrums

Parent Feedback:  “I was just talking in the staff room yesterday about The Goulding Method – SleepTalk®.

People seem to always think it is for children with sleeping problems!  Anyway, I just wanted to say that since starting SleepTalk® the whole family has noticed an improvement in my son’s behaviour.

It is hard to believe that with so little time and effort our daily lives have improved so much.   He is a much calmer boy now and has fewer tantrums; in fact it is now a rare occurrence that we have to send him to his room for time out (it used to be a couple of times a day at weekends).

It is also a lovely time for me to go into his room at night and whisper to him  and it is a nice end to the day regardless of it being a good day or not.  He is definitely waking up ‘bright and happy’ these days – we love it!”

Consultant:  Jenny Harrison – UK

 

Temper Tantrums

“ The Goulding Method – SleepTalk was recommended and explained thoroughly and the need to do it to all kids where the mother can approach the teenagers from a bit of a distance or the door step because of his age. 

After 12 weeks of offering the Goulding Method -SleepTalk Foundation Stage!  The Process  was strictly followed everyday by the mother and she recorded the voice of the father as he used to travel a lot. 

Mum started reporting changes every week. First they were smaller changes where the tantrums took just a little bit less time and the improvements increased weekly.

Mum became so motivated with the process and the obvious changes for the whole 12 weeks! Her son’s tantrums times and length kept getting shorter and more manageable.

He was able to control his nerves and even started thinking positively and looking at the good side in situations. He became more confident and not venerable to simple situations where he became so flexible and secure within.

He was also able to speak up for himself and report situations where he needed to explain himself and his reactions and he was convincing and never lied. 

His teachers started reporting significant changes and by the end of the year he was given an award for best behaviour in school which left the mother thrilled! 

The relationship with siblings softened gradually and now they are more understanding and tolerant to each other. Mother reported that he is even more empathetic with his older brother and sister. 

The siblings relationship became much stronger as the communication between them got stronger and they were able to talk, set rules and follow them through and she is enjoying him outside everywhere even in the mall which used to be a great challenge!

Mum also reported that he doesn’t like to spend more time alone than he used to do before.!  Harmony was restored to the whole home and she felt much happier and reported that she felt her life has changed.

Consultant: NT – UAE 2017

 

 Temper Tantrums – Calmness.

After 8 weeks of the Goulding Method – SleepTalk® , the protocol was strictly followed everyday alternatively between both parents where huge improvements has taken place as follows:

Although eating wasn’t a major concern, his eating habits showed obvious improvement. His motor skills has improved massively to the extent that the mother forgot there was this concern in the first place and when I drew her attention she answered that he walks perfectly well and I didn’t notice anything not normal anymore.

His basketball coach is complicating his performance now and his ability to achieve goals in the game. His study and homework time became no problem at all as the mother herself came more relaxed and was able to give choices and empathise with her son with the ability to choose her battles.

He is doing his homework very well and that put more confidence in the mothers heart toward the capabilities of her son. He became highly confident in class, reporting bullying cases and no more acting out in class. Teachers also commented that his is now a happy child.

His ability to stay calm become more sustained and he manages very well to control his anger after a very short period of time. His relationship with his parents became stronger and empathetic and his relationship with his little sister is full of lots of play time. 

As the nail biting was clearly a sign of anxiety and before being a habit so I introduced an additional primary statement: Just after one week this statement made a great difference with the parents, especially the father as he was participating in the Goulding Method- SleepTalk® regularly and it was healing for him as well.

The parents also reported stronger bonding with their son, who has starting to express himself more frequent rather than being so introvert and they were glad to talk about emotions and feelings rather than avoiding them.

Consultant: NT – UAE 2017

 

Heading: Education. 

“My son is much better – he is stronger in himself and is beginning to show an increase in his self-belief. I have spoken to his teachers and we are noticing his effort at school improving – I have done a simple improvement check on one of the Goulding Method- SleepTalk® forms and there is a marked increase in all areas. My wife and I will be adding in some additional suggestions.”

Consultant: PD – UK 2009

 

Temper Tantrums.

When speaking with the mum at her second visit she was thrilled with the results. She said that he had had fewer aggressive instances and the times when he had lost his temper he was quick to regain control and each outburst was much shorter-lived. His behaviour at school had improved and the mum hadn’t been called in to see the headmaster at all.

She said that they had attended a parents evening at school where his new teacher had said to them “the boy I thought was going to walk through those doors never did”! The teacher asked them if anything had changed at home or if they knew why this might be the case, so they mentioned The Goulding Method – SleepTalk® and the teacher was very interested to learn more!

They felt that his behaviour had improved considerably and felt confident that the foundation statements were addressing this issue.”

Accredited Consultant: Rachel Packard – UK – 2016

 

Temper Tantrums

“At 12 weeks, phase 2 ‘where are they now document’ done. Three C’s have been adhered to. Mum is happy with process and its effects on her too. Calmer home, generally and a calmer, less agitated ‘R’ at home. He is sleeping through the night with less need of being comforted and ‘aides’ to go to sleep, a huge improvement. 

 

Although much improvement, Joane’s advice here was it’s not quite consolidated enough in him yet, so keep up the Phase 1 foundation with Phase 2  bridging statement for another 2-3 months. Gave Mum this advice, she was fine with that. And did tell her that we’ll check in again to see if we can move forward then. (With text-check-ins every 2 weeks.)

 

The upshot for mum was that ‘R’ is still having angry outbursts/reacting before thinking (but not nearly as often or as long lasting) & still some ticking going on. Fear underlying the anxiety. The foundation has to have more time to ‘consolidate’ before moving on to any Primary Area of Need.”

Accredited Consultant: Lucia Dapos – Vic – 2019

 

Tantrums – Self-confidence – Sibling Rivalry and Education. 

‘A’ is a 5 year old boy who lives with his Mum and Dad and his little sister aged 2. Both parents were in a loving relationship and both keen to do the Goulding Method – SleepTalk® technique together with both their children. 

The initial reasons for A’s Mum wanting to use the Goulding Method SleepTalk method were to help him establish more self-confidence and assurance. Mum also noted that A was a premature baby and she said that she had experienced a few challenges along the way with A’s health due to this early birth.

Mum commented how ‘A’ could attempt to be very controlling when she was talking with other adults and didn’t want to “share his mum”. He would scream and go into ‘melt downs’ and this was often worse when ‘A’ didn’t know people that well and felt uncomfortable in new surroundings. This was described to me as “clingy behavior”.

Both Mum and Dad very loving parents who often spent much time with both children in the day time, but there was obviously some underlying belief that ‘A’ had, and this was leading him to feel uncomfortable in new situations and only secure when with parents.

At the time ‘A’ was resistant in learning things himself, not keen to try new classes, and commented that he was most happy when “at home with Mummy and Daddy”.

I met with ‘A’s parents for the second time after they had been saying the Foundation suggestions to ‘A’ for approximately 8 weeks. Mum said that ‘A’ seemed “more level” now with his confidence and emotions.

He was “snapping out of his whiney voice” much quicker and “able to control his emotions a lot better”. He seemed to be calmer and less anxious and “more comfortable in his own skin”, parents said. It was noted that A was more confident without parents and not as “needy” in new situations.

Dad said that he was delighted when he took ‘A’ to a friend’s party on his own as Mum was away that weekend and A just ran off and played.

Again, following a family weekend away, parents noticed that ‘A’ was becoming more and more confident in unusual and new situations. He was now getting more sleep due to staying in his own bed longer at night time and was more settled therefore sleeping for longer periods of time.

Mum mentioned that whenever ‘A’ showed a sign of anxiety which was rare these days, she would say some of the SleepTalk® words to him in a loving manner and his “shoulders would just drop and he would become more relaxed”. Increased cooperation meant that ‘A’ was now more understanding of what his parents were saying to him and so he now listened when they were explaining things to him and he was more cooperative. 

Summary 

In summary there were notable improvements in sleep, bedwetting, eating, self-security, confidence and self-esteem, general well-being, communication, studies, and communication and relationships with parents within 3 months.

Both parents remained fully committed to the program throughout the whole 3 months, alternating the evenings that they said the words to their child and used some of the positive wording in the daytime to gain optimal benefits for their child. 

2012 Jenny Harris – UK – SleepTalk consultant.