The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Talk to your sleeping child

I discovered SleepTalk for Children® when my son was 10 years old. We had a quite difficult relationship. Unlike his older sister, it was never his goal in life to please his mother.

He was head strong and we would often clash. Getting ready for school in the morning was a challenge and usually ended in tears and yelling. I would ask him to clean his teeth after breakfast and he would head down the hall.

I would then find him ten minutes later downstairs playing with his Lego. He was slippery and my husband and I often said that it was like trying to push custard up hill with a sharp stick. “Make your bed, open your curtains, put on your shoes, put your lunch in your bag, where’s your reader?” Every step of the morning routine felt exhausting.

I read every parenting book I could lay my hands on. During my Hypnotherapy training I heard about a way of talking to your child while they were sleeping that worked like hypnosis. I couldn’t wait to find out about it. I started doing the process with Nick each night for about two minutes. (Name changed to protect the innocent.)

It’s really incredibly simple and you can do it in a TV ad break.

After about 10 days I went to wake him one morning and he wasn’t in his bed. His bed was made and his curtains were open. I went looking for him thinking that aliens had stolen my child! I found him in the bathroom fully dressed in his school uniform, shoes on, AND he was cleaning his teeth! We were both a bit bewildered and I said, “What’s up?” He simply told me he was sick of being late for school. Well, you could have knocked me down with a feather.

The amazing thing is that what I was saying during his sleep had absolutely nothing to do with makings beds or cleaning teeth. It is simply series of statements that build self esteem and optimism. I understand now that these two things are the bottom line with all behaviour.

If every child could grow up with good self esteem and a positive outlook the world would be a very different place. From that day on my son was loving and much more co operative.

He was a happier child. If only I’d started sooner.

When talking to the sub‐conscious mind, there are some important guidelines. .Ensure your child is in a light state of sleep. If they are in deep sleep you might as well talk to the wall.

Whatever you say needs to be…. Worded positively, e.g. “You are safe and loved”, rather than “Don’t be scared” In the present tense, “You are well and happy” not “You will be better tomorrow” Appropriate for life, e.g. “You are fit and healthy” not “You love playing sport at school”

by Alison Burton