The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Sleep Issues / Anxiety

Outwardly ‘V’ is a bubbly, chatty and very active child. However her parents have a tough time getting ‘V’ to bed, feeding is a nightmare and ‘V’ doesn’t accept other people. Her reaction is, “No, go away!”

I taught Dad and Mom the Sleep Talk (ST) process.  After one night of ST, Dad emailed, very excited to report that ‘V’ had her regular hair cut without a single of tear. As ‘V’ doesn’t take well to strangers touching her, even the same hair-dresser who has been cutting her hair all this while, is not accepted. She cries and frets at each and every hair cutting session. This time, to quote Mom: “She just sat there calmly throughout the whole time, no tears, is it a coincidence?”  I replied, “No, it’s Sleep Talk”.

The next positive incident was a follow-up x-ray session to check on the progress of her operation. ‘V’ had a fall and broke her collar-bone. The pain and trauma of strangers in white coats and covered faces makes her scream, cry and cling on to mom and dad for dear life. After about 1 week of ST, ‘V’ allowed the nurse to take her from mom’s arms, sat on the cold steel platform by herself in the dim x-ray room, and had her x-ray taken without a single tear or whimper!

Going to bed was a one to two hour ritual every night; afternoon naps were 20 -30 minutes to the max. Mom had to stay with her at kindi and friends of her parents do not have the privilege to play with or hold her. She would say, “No, go away”. Meal times are an endurance test for mom. ‘V’ will eat a little of an item, then a bite of another and another…. Proper meals with meat, vegetables and rice are rejected.  Mom was totally exhausted, physically and emotionally trying to keep up with ‘V’.

Stayed on with the Foundation Statement for 4 months, completed the 3rd “Where Now” document, and after discussing the ‘Primary area of need’, we agreed to add a support suggestion:  I advised parents to play games with ‘V’ to teach her the meaning of “safe” before using the support suggestion.

With ST, ‘V’ has now transformed into a very confident little angel who does not hesitate to apologize if she’s in the wrong. Going to bed is much easier and parents can walk out of the room after about 20 minutes. ‘V’ is willing to try more healthy new food and is also putting on some weight. She can also interact with people now and as the father puts it: “I do not have to worry about emergency calls at work from Mom or pushing the job  of getting ‘V’ to sleep to one another.  Productivity at work also increased as there is no more stress of having to rush home from the office when an “emergency” arise.

2013 – Elis Soo – Consultant – Malaysia