The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Separation anxiety & sibling rivalry

March 2010

My husband and I have made it our mission to find a solution to help our 5 year old daughter with her anxiety and separation issues.  She is naturally a highly sensitive and obedient child (which affects her self confidence and ultimately other areas of her development).  The main issue we really wanted to help her address is separation, particularly at kindergarten, in order to help her deal better with separation when she starts school in 12 months’ time. “I” worries about everything from the rain ruining the clothes to her little sister getting lost in the crowd.  We read quite a few books that suggested difference theories and strategies, we sought counsel from several professionals like GPs, Teachers, other parents, Kinaesiologists and Psychologists then we discovered SleepTalk and Joane Goulding.

The main concern we had is her anxiety related to separation mainly at Kindergarten and even with grandparents and with Dad, she just wanted to be with me – her Mum.  The tears and stress would start sometimes two days before kinder day then on the morning of kinder she would be crying quietly during breakfast.  It was heartbreaking to watch and even more sad that we had no solution to help our little girl.

Once I got my hands on the book I read it and started the Foundation process instantly, I then sought counsel from Joane Goulding and we began the “Where Does My Child Stand Now” process.  It took several weeks to observe any Feedback so we continued the Foundations process for about 6-8 weeks.

In just a few short weeks we started to see amazing results, the initial results where not the ones we were looking for.  “I” started to display voluntary and positive signs of affection which she used to sometimes hold back, she also seemed more relaxed.  We knew this feedback must be a direct result of SleepTalk.

Another consultation with Joane and completion of the “Where Does My Child Stand Now” and ongoing use of the SleepTalk process brought us to the goal we’ve been aiming for – one morning while preparing to go to kinder and I was prepared for the usual anxiety and sadness with the lead up to saying goodbye.  She looked at me and with certainty she said “I’m going to be happy today at kinder and I’m not going to cry when we say goodbye” – one can only imagine how emotional and excited I was to hear this.  Both days that week she did exactly that, I believe she had her breakthrough and she is so excited and proud of herself, she continued to remind me of her success for several days.

Her behaviour change has been consistent from this day on.  “I” is now 6 years old, has started school and much to the amazement of everyone who thought she may have issues again in a new environment, she is elated with school, wants to be there every day (and even at night).

NC