The Goulding Method

Official Goulding Consultants & Trainers Site

A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

Self Confidence

We first started the Goulding Method 5 months ago after hearing about it through our friend… Natalie Cossar who is an accredited Trainer.  Intrigued and interested in how such a simple process could make such positive changes to not only our childrens lives, but also our lives as a family unit, I purchased the book and gave it a go. As the book says, if the only thing that happens to your child is that they feel loved and accepted, is that such a bad thing??  I don’t think so.

After reading the book, we started the foundation process with our two daughters “M” aged 9 and “E” aged 5.  We had had a bit of a rocky time last year, and felt that the process may make the girls feel more secure and settled. At first, my husband didn’t feel particularly confident in doing the ‘Foundation’ statements on his own, so we took it in turns to say a sentence each – and this worked really well.  The first few weeks, we noticed that “M” would strongly sense our presence in the room and would squirm about in her bed as we slowly said the foundation statements.  Our other girl “E” would sometimes even talk and respond to our statements in her sleep – which was a little confronting, but we followed the advice in the book of soothing her into a deep sleep and then continuing with the statements.

After about 4 weeks, we noticed quite a difference in the behaviour of “M”.  She is a self-contained child – who is more of a ‘watcher’ than a participator – and suddenly she was actively seeking me out and sitting on my knee to watch TV, or even when we ate dinner.  This was quite unusual behaviour from her as she tends to like her personal space, however, we welcomed this with open arms, and now 5 months later, she still continues with this affection. She also seems to be more confident in herself and far more resilient to the ups and downs of school life – bouncing back when she is knocked down.

‘E’ s changes were more subtle than “M”‘s.  She seems to argue less with her sister and calms down more quickly when she has a tantrum.

In the September School Holidays we went away two weeks, and in the throes of travelling, we overlooked the nightly ‘Goulding Method’.  Once we arrived at our destination we noticed that the girls were arguing more than normal, so we decided to re-introduce the nightly talks.  Once we recommenced the process there was a noticeable turn around in their behaviour towards one another – which obviously has a follow-on effect to the whole of the family’s harmony and enjoyment of the holiday.

After doing a “Where Now’ evaluation with Natalie, we identified a couple of areas that we would like to provide support to “M’  At  present, we have moved onto a specific statement for ‘M’ and are currently working on a statement for ‘E’ with a view to introducing it before Christmas.  We have decided to stagger the introduction of specific statements so that we can properly check for changes in each child, rather than trying to identify them in both.

The Goulding Method has not only had a positive impact on the emotional wellbeing and resilience of our children, but also on our emotional connectedness as partners and parents – and I would highly recommend it to all parents as happiness in the home follows you into your daily lives. Kind Regards “J”

December 2011 – Natalie Cossar – Trainer.