The Goulding Method

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A simple, safe method for parents helping children establish emotional intelligence, loving attachment and acceptance.

15 year old daughter suffering from anxiety

Consultant report: Parents used the SleepTalk™ process for her 15 year old daughter who had been suffering from anxiety for many months. As ‘J’ lives apart from the father, she did the SleepTalk™ on her own with both her daughters.

I decided to give SleepTalk™ a go to help my 15 year old daughter ‘L’ be calmer. I would like to say that it is a most wonderful ‘program’ to follow and has really helped my daughter out in lots of ways. Our only ‘struggle’ was that teenage girls don’t go into quite as deep sleeps as they used to as little girls. But with Paola’s help and slight changes to the criteria, it worked superbly.

In the first month I started to notice a difference in ‘L’, she was a lot calmer and quietly confident. I’d also taken to texting ‘L’ every day at school telling her how much I loved her and how beautiful and clever she was. Most mornings she was now waking much calmer and a lot happier, after just 8 weeks of doing the SleepTalk™.

After about 14 weeks, I would say ‘L’ possibly had the biggest change in herself. She is no longer ‘worrying’ about life, she is much calmer and there are hardly any anxious moments.

She is really enjoying school (though she already did) she is finding it easier to make new friends and is a lot happier in herself. ‘L’ had stopped having ‘bad’ thoughts: thinking that someone is going to die and that if something good happens then something bad will follow. Overall she had calmed down hugely. She just isn’t anxious anymore.

I would like to say a huge massive thank you to Paola; you are amazing and so very good at your job.

Parent Feedback – ST Paola Bagnell – 2014 UK

 

Heading: Anxiety. 

The parents were committed to the programme. They wanted to help their child and in turn discovered ways they too could change.  There is ongoing work, but massive changes have taken place in the short time. 

There is no more mention of dying or death by their son, and he wakes as a happier child. He is coping with life much better.  I believe the regularly weekly support in the early stages of the programme helped the mother as much as it did their son.”

Accredited Consultant & Trainer:  Marilyn Colvin Boon. Qld 2013

Anxiety – Education

A mothers feedback: “A response to the Goulding Method – SleepTalk® Foundation statements was immediate. The morning after the very first time of using the statements ‘T’ came up to me, looking very deeply at me with a smile on her face; a look which, had I not done the The Goulding Method – SleepTalk® work, and thought it might be to do with, would have asked her what the reason for her look was….it was a very different look. Then she came up to me and gave me a big hug. 

She also asked if I could get her a pen and some paper and proceeded to make me a card, whilst I was getting ready to leave. The card had a picture on the front of the whole family, including dog, all with big smiles on our faces and stood in front of our house. 

It was noted that she was a lot more affectionate when doing the statements, enjoying lots of cuddles and sitting closely next to us when on the sofas. Though she wasn’t being clingy, she was happy to cuddle then go.

It was also noted how her enthusiasm to go to school increased, with a reduction in her tummy hurt each morning, though this wasn’t fully eliminated.

Her eating seemed to also improve. Less coaxing seemed to be needed, she seemed to know that when one mouthful was finished she should put another in, though can still be a bit distracted and not concentrating solely on the task at hand. Though the television is still being watched during mealtimes. 

She became a lot happier in attending school, even mentioning regularly that she liked school. She completely stopped complaining that her tummy hurt in the mornings and, in fact, in the year or so since we did the SleepTalk® only once mentioned she was worried about seeing someone she hadn’t seen for a while (which was her Great Grandad which we hadn’t seen for a year…so understandable!) 

No additional work is needed, though the use of the foundation statements from time to time will take place.” 

Accredited Consultant: Rachel Packard – UK – 2016

Anxiety.

“Parents of ‘N’ state she has absolutely blossomed during the process over the past 4 months, her confidence has grown exponentially and she was just awarded a prize in a public speaking school competition, something her parents are quite astounded and thrilled with.  

She actively engages in conversation around the dinner table and happily shares her opinions and thoughts.  Her family are thrilled with the confidence she has displayed and she has been interacting well with her school friends and peers and taking great interest in school activities and happy to try new things.  She has had a significant decrease in timidity and less nervous.

Parents have enjoyed the process and feel that there is no doubt that the process has been very beneficial for their daughter.  They would like to continue the statement often as they all feel benefit.”

2018 – Accredited Consultant: Carla Pahl – HongKong

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Sleeping Issues – Anger.

Parent Feedback: “He’s going to bed without a fuss is now the norm!  Possibly being twinned with a new and regular bedtime routine he now never complains or kicks up a fuss and has even asked his mum on occasion if he can go to bed, as he was tired!” 

“The mum is over the moon. She got very emotional when she remembered how bad it had been at the beginning of the process and how different it now was. His arguing has improved hugely, not totally disappeared, but has been greatly reduced. His unwavering conviction that he is always right has dissipated and he is willing to consider what others say. He is still very affectionate towards his mum, instigating hugs.

The parents are totally thrilled with the outcome because his behaviour has improved hugely with no incidences of violence that the mum could remember over the previous 8 weeks.

He goes to bed without a fuss now, which was unheard of, and even unimaginable, at the beginning of the process. His sleeping habits have greatly improved, no longer sleepwalking and only rarely sleep talking. Thus, one assumes, he is getting more and better quality, sleep (which would also help his behaviour).

His arguing has also improved. He is more compliant when asked to do something and seems to be very happy acting as part of the family. So, overall, the Goulding Method – SleepTalk® work has been a huge success.

Accredited Consultant: Rachel Packard – UK – 2016

Nail Bitting – – Hypochondria – Anxiety.

“She has stopped biting her nails! Her nails seems to be actually growing now! Mum is so stunned and it’s another thing she has been able to mention to the father in regards to how the kids are doing lately…. He still doesn’t quite ‘see’ it. Although, on further questioning, it was clear that nails were just being less bitten! 

Still wanting to ‘go’ to her nails (still anxious habit?) but they were growing therefore, still probably biting them, but much less often and that surely means a little change in anxiety expressing itself in self-soothing or habit.

 

During the 12 week appointment, the reassessment was offered and the 3 C’s have been adhered to. Mum is happy with the process and its effects on her too. ‘L’ has an overall improvement in most things. Generally she’s less nervous and less ‘highly strung’. Still overreacts to things at home, but calms much quicker after. 

We discussed what are the outstanding issues, and Mum said that the hypochondria, although much less frequent, it’s still happening & also the nail biting. So, we talked about anxiety and that she is still needing (like her brother) to have the foundation process continue to get more consolidation in her ‘self’ before moving onto and dealing with a primary area of need. 

 

Talking to Joane afterwards, we talked about the need for attention presenting as hypochondria (due to sibling rivalry and issues around her dad*) and anxiety, nail biting, fear based things. Very much like her brother. 

{*Mum mentioned only during the phase 2 ‘where now’ document, that ‘L’ had stopped saying “why does dad hate me?” which shocked me a bit – and it goes to show that the need for attention and that constant anxiety is with her at home – fear of not being loved by her dad, it would seem ☹}”

Accredited Consultant: Lucia Dapos – Vic – 2019

 

Calmness – Anxiety –- Nail Bitting.

“He is MUCH calmer and listening better. I decided it was time to add the bridging statement to the foundation statement. They were going overseas on holidays for 18 nights, so thought she could start now. (Mum delivered the process most nights while away, even on the plane!!)

She reported, when they got back, that the kids got along quite well and they all had a good time away together. And also, on return, ‘T’ and his dad started bike riding more often and enjoying each other in this space.

At week 12, phase 2 ‘where now’ interview and document done. ‘T’ is doing much better in key areas. He’s not as blinkered in his thinking now – listens to alternatives/advice/queries regarding what he has chosen to do, and takes these things into consideration, whereas previously, he would not have even listened. 

Less dogmatic. All of ‘T’s’ reactions are less dramatic and he is definitely stopping & listening. More relaxed, less rigid. Big decrease in his fear of the dark and being alone.

Stopped biting his toe-nails (!! she didn’t mention toe nails in the initial interview, just finger nails) completely. But decrease of fingernail biting maybe 20% – still huge improvement! There remains issues with ‘T’ and his dad, but that’s a counselling matter, as for the SleepTalk® process, ‘T’ is generally showing signs of less anxiety. 

Upshot for mum is she worries about ‘T’s relationship with his dad – IMPLORED her to get him involved with the process – at the very least his voice recording of the process. She understands but I need to explain it in sincere detail, highlighting all the positive changes so far. 

She is also still concerned about his lack of impulse control – even though improved. Suggested that the process still needs time to consolidate with ‘T’. I believe that adding dad’s voice would see a whole new change in ‘T’s’ behaviours, but they have to do this, I can only give the reasons and encourage gently but firmly. So, for the next three months, the foundation process with the bridging statement to be continued. Monitor changes every 2 weeks or so. 

So, no Primary Area of Need (PAN) at this stage. He clearly needs his dad’s voice and that indirect (sub conscious) acknowledgment of ‘love’ from him for him to move forward. When his PAN is established, and with talking with Joane again, it looks likely to be around the learning and school as this may have taken a back-seat while he was doing other things in his mind! 

The Phase  two statement would therefore be added with the ‘sandwich’ description explained only at the time of moving from the foundation statement to the phase 2 PAN suggestions.”

Accredited Consultant: Lucia Dapos – Vic – 2019

 

Anxiety and Happiness.

Few weeks after client has been applying the Level 2 statements, she found that ‘K’ was happier and interacted more. Her skin problem is improving. Less rashes now.

To help client better master the process, I told her that every child’s response is different to the suggestion, basically is from 66 to 252 days. In addition, some children might exhibit a condition so called ‘abreaction’, that he or she shows on and off anger or frustration during the monitoring process. 

This is due to the nature of mind work with the effect of incoming suggestions. What client needs to do is to maintain consistency and correctness during the application. 

 The end result and conclusion was: We had our last update in December 2018 and based on the conversation, the client told me that ‘K’ is now not so afraid of meeting new people, willing to listen and share more, and engage more activities.

 Client appreciated what have done to her and her family. Although the monitoring experiment has come to an end, she will still continue to apply this process.

Accredited Consultant: Lee Hong Yiap – Singapore 2018

 

Anxiety.

“ One month after the initial Foundation Process, 2nd Mind Profile questionnaire shows major changes in ‘T’. His interest in sport has improved and a remarkable change in his ability to be a calmer child. Introduction of a specific suggestion was implemented and the Mother said she is acting very differently with the children. 

She is more tolerant and accepting them as children. She herself says it is hard to notice the changes, but the assessments give them a proper measure of the changes.”  

Accredited Consultant & Trainer:  Marilyn Colvin Boon. Qld 2013

 

Anxiety and Eating Issues.

“Mum reports that ‘E’ is giving more kisses and cuddles and is generally much more affectionate. She will continue with the Foundation script for the time being and we will consider adding a supporting statement if and when it is deemed to be necessary.

I saw mum again in August. ‘E’ has continued to progress in most areas. She is still a little anxious at times and mum still has concerns about her eating. Meal times are calmer but mum is still worried about ‘E’s weight. (She looks fine to me. I think perhaps mum is worrying unnecessarily.)

Mum has been doing The Goulding Method – SleepTalk consistently and I felt it was a good time to introduce a support statement to address anxiety and self-esteem issues she still has. 

I spoke to mum in September. She is more thon hoppy with SleepTalk process. She feels that ‘E’ is less anxious, calmer and that her self-esteem has improved. She will continue with The Goulding Method- SleepTalk and will talk to her again soon for update.

Kathryn Duncan – Qld 2014